A fun way of raising money for Comic Relief while having a laugh with their clients and suppliers in the security industry is offered by Frontline Security Solutions.
The in Chalfont St Peters-based installers emailed their contacts and invited them to submit their favourite jokes. For every joke received on or before March 16, Red Nose Day, Frontline has offered to donate £5 to Comic Relief.
Professional Security Magazine has joined in the fun by agreeing to post a selection of the jokes on the website.
What they say
Peter Goodenough, Frontline Security Solutions’ Sales & Marketing Director said: "The response has been great even if some of the jokes have made us groan and we are therefore hoping that by the time the competition ends we would have raised a considerable sum for a brilliant charity."
Jokes
For sale: West Ham LIPSTICK – Ideal for kissing goodbye (to the Premier League) £0:99p each. May be remaindered in May.
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Doctor, doctor; I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Sit here and we’ll talk about it.
I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realised that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5am." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said: "It is 5am. Wake up."
